I’ve been experiencing jealously lately, because I’ve seen examples of my workplace recognizing males in high visibility ways. My hometown shows preference to males and to people who are racially white.
As a non-white woman, I often find myself in the background - diligently and dedicatedly doing the work – and the recognition I get is private (sincere and frequent “thank you’s”, pay raises, higher value work assignments). I feel appreciated, but I don’t feel "chosen"…."wanted" as a representative who displays values the company wants. I feel needed and tolerated….liable to be replaced, just as soon as I stop contributing high value work products.
Today’s CoDA daily meditation ‘meets me where I am’ on this subject. I am so grateful for the support:
In This Moment, I love and accept.
Sometimes, I focus on the fact that not many others seem interested in doing service work. Then I stop and realize that’s not my concern.
I only have control over myself, no one else.
I’ve been doing service work on many different levels: local, state, and national. There are often many challenges. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed and unappreciated.
I use my program, the Steps, and Traditions to help me recognize and address my conflicting issues of control and people-pleasing. As I learn, I’m becoming a better person. Life is easier and I’m easier to live with.
I do service work for myself, to continue improving my experience, strength, and hope. I can’t picture myself without it.
CoDA. In This Moment Daily Meditation Book (p. 290). Kindle Edition.
With CoDA, I can proceed and continue to be ‘me’, 100%. I can contribute what I feel called to contribute to my workplace, and I can release resentment about external approval, validation, or recognition for it.
How others treat me does not invalidate who I am and what I do. And I am grateful to know that.