I need a sponsor, how do I I find one?

  • How Do I Find a Sponsor? We find sponsors at zoom meetings or in-person meetings, retreats, or other recovery events, and we attend meetings and listen to others share their recovery. If we relate, we can ask the person if they are available for sponsorship. 

  • How Do you Find The Right One? As we listen to what we might be expected to do for our recovery, we remember how much effort we put into codependence and care-taking of others. Before recovery, some of us spent countless hours in resentment, losing sleep and cleaning up after someone in our codependent relationship. We usually worked long hours and paid all the bills. We rescued ungrateful people with our money or our time. We typically placed everyone else first. There were moments of exhaustion or near exhaustion.

  • What Do We Do First? We ask for the person’s telephone number and questions about the program. We see if we are comfortable talking with that person on the telephone or zoom. We might go through this process with two or three people—eventually, we them to be our sponsor. If we want to move at a slower pace, we might ask to meet that person at a restaurant to talk about expectations. We can talk about what sponsorship includes and what it does not include. It usually consists of the availability of time to do Step work and an exchange of mutual respect.

  • Do I Have Options? We might talk about a trial period to see if it works out in some cases. We can commit to a trial period of four to six weeks to see how it goes. At the end of the period, we revisit the agreement.

  • How Do I Know If They Are The One? As we talk with a potential sponsor, we get a sense of compatibility, but we avoid notions of perfectionism or the perfect match. Differences are not always negative, and we should not be too picky as long as the person is committed to recovery and helping others.

  • When Should I Get a Sponsor? Newcomers are encouraged to get a sponsor immediately, and Oldtimers without sponsors are also encouraged to get a new perspective on their process from a peer sponsor.