Working Step Six
Step Six might require a shift in mindset: “Step Six: Were entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.”
After Steps Four and Five, we are aware of our defects of character and we have owned them as our own. Step Six requires us to get ready to abandon these defects of character, because we now know that they no longer serve us. As the Codependents Anonymous book says on page 52:
“They were survival tools from our past and, while they seemed to provide for our apparent well-being, they were no longer enough. We wanted to live, not merely survive, and for that we would need a clean slate.”
We now understand that change is necessary.
Step Six mentally prepares us to abandon old patterns that we erroneously thought had worked so well. As stated on page 53 of the Codependents Anonymous book,
“We can see the horrible consequences of holding on to them. We’re left with little choice but to let these character defects go.”
Abandoning these defects of character, which we are so familiar with, may create a void in our lives. We know how not to act, but we do not yet know how to behave in healthier ways. Reassurance comes from the Codependents Anonymous book on page 54:
“Only our Higher Power can remove our defects of character that have provided us unhealthy defenses, protection, and false power.”
This reassurance prepares us for Step Seven, where we humbly ask our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.
As I close this blog post, I wonder:
Do you feel courageous? On page 54 of the Codependents Anonymous book we are reminded that, “Courage doesn’t come from the absence of fear but the willingness to walk through it.”
Are you afraid of abandoning your defects of character? Why? What’s holding you back here?
How do you recognize progress in your recovery? Step Six challenges us to “let go” – but what fills in the gap?